Marathon not a Sprint

For me, chemo is basically agreeing to take toxic medicines that nearly kill you every two weeks.  It is scary to volunteer to know that for 2-4 days after taking the medicine your body is basically recovering. Last Saturday, I sat on the couch all day and did not even feel like paying attention to TV.  Slowly day by day you improve. Your not 100% by the next round but you can start doing things.

Doing these things for yourself is an important process of control and long term sanity.  Doing things like the dishes and getting the kids ready for school are important tasks. At least for me, another important task is having work to concentrate on.  It feels good to be productive and help others, to use one's built training and expertise. It not just makes the time pass faster, it brings a bit of normalcy into ones life. Also, it is time that you are not thinking about cancer, time that you can get lost in work.

This sets up an issue. You go from not wanting to be bothered because you can't do anything to enjoying the ability to do some things.  You don't want your life to revolve around doctor appointments and focusing just on cancer.  At first, you don't want to call the doctor and don't want to leave the house then it turns into not wanting to spend your whole life doing these things.

Because this is a marathon and not a sprint, the majority of what you need to do is follow the plan. It is scary, horrible and tough but pushing on the process only adds stress and no value.  Working to get additional information early either forces you into doing tasks when you would rather be zoned out or exploiting the windows of sanity.

This is where you have to manage people who want to help. Everyone else is working on a full clock, while you are basically "part time". This adjustment is hard for me, I'm used to being 100% all of the time. So far, I'm really lucky with more help than I need.  They are going to outstrip your needs at first, as you don't need much just patience.  You can't go to a doctor's appointment every other day and have any sense of normalcy. My advice is you pace yourself. Save your help and sanity for 3 months from now.

Current events have also thrown the need to be of service into sharp relief. Tomorrow is a national day of mourning for GHW Bush. As with all political people, I'm sure many can criticize some of the things that they felt he did incorrectly or improperly. Besides that, I look at his level of service and dedication to others and it is an inspiration that people can make a difference and help. Being able to continue to work on items to help others during a time where I'm sick is one of the biggest blessings that I have. If you are looking for a book that helps describe this I would recommend "The Road to Character"